Hempshaman wrote:But after using her I feel like the whole world is watching me all the time or talking about me behind my back. My brother who I am obviously very close to even frustrates me when I use salvia and I feel as though deep down he thinks I'm an idiot.
When I was using salvia alot my main issues in life were that I was going crazy I even saw a counselor and couldnt sleep due to "the fear" for months. Why does she make one paranoid like this? She is a dissoactive and heavy ketamine users often report symptoms like mine. It feels after using her like I'm slightly disconnected from reality all the time.
Im no psych professional...dont even play one on TV, but Ill offer this for your concideration.
On many occations I have witnessed friends and aquaintences 'self-medicate'to alieviate or explore. One thing I have observed is that whatever the 'stuff' of choice is, it often amplifies whatever potential lies just benieth the surface. Sometimes there is potential for enlightenment, sometime there is potential for destruction. It is highly dependent (in my opinion) on how the individual is 'wired'. How do you process information? Are the afflictions organic in nature or are they a learned behavior?
It sound like you are very sensitive. You seem to indicate that your projecting your feelings onto those around you...so that it may seem that they think your and idiot or they are privately denouncing you, when in fact...this stuff is really coming out of your own head.
It sounds like, deep down you need to make peace with yourself, hon.
Now...tell me about the things you find soothing.